monkeyplus1

I go through long days, sometimes weeks at a time, feeling cold, implosive.

These phases, I hate everyone, I hate myself, I hate the whole fucking world.

It’s strange, I think, because people that know me generally see a friendly happy side.  When I try to give in to that self-hatred, dive into that pool of negativity, as much pain as I want to inflict on myself, the result ends up being soothing. A catharsis.

I’ve said it before, but been misunderstood. If you have those extremely negative feelings, but find a way to express them safely (ie, not damaging the sensitive beings around you), it can be therapeutic.

Plus, I’m not paying a therapist $100/hr to vent, I’m doing it in the comfort of my own “studio”, where only the dog is listening.

Pure Brown has another baby (mp3):